tommast
Korisnik
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Karma: 0
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I have destroyed my life and hurt the people i care about most? - 24.11.11 12:22
so... i live in a town called provo right outside salt lake city i have lived here for about 7 years i have had serious drug problems in my past with methamphetamines and cocaine i went to rehab three times and have been sober for two years except for the last two weeks.... here is the story... my friends and i always went to salt lake to party and do drugs when we were in our drug years we would sneak out steal a car and go get trashed. once i realized i was seriously endangering my life i registered for rehab immediately. i was under no circumstances going to submit myself to the old ways once i was sober. i was relentless for the next year and a half no drinking ever, smoking, drugs, i even stopped swearing and started going to church and gym regulary i refrained from the dating scene as well. so there i was about six months ago physically fit prosperous job and mentally clean. i remember the night i started drinking again vividly, i was at my house with my best friend aaron he had invited some girls over without me knowing, he later confided he was worried i had turned into a homosexual haha, the two girls were very nice but definately not my type, personality or looks. one of the two, Cece was her name she was an amazing girl really funny, reminded me of my sister. anyways we watched a movie in my theater room and aaron brought out a bottle of captian morgan, not the most refined of drinks but we didnt care. we drank straight from the bottle until the early morning hours, aaron and the other girl had sex in my guestroom. the next few weekends were the best times i could remember drinking and partying blowing off work, but never stepping too far out-of-bounds no drugs or sex yet and occasionally skipping church and the gym. Then one night we were out at this rave in slc and i met the most amazing girl she had beautiful brown hair and dark italian skin just like mine her name was allison we danced all night and i took her home. we started dating about a month later and i cannot remember a happier time in my life. i am normally not the type to belive in this fairytale love i didnt belive it was possible at all i had never told another person i loved them and meant it not even to my mom she was and is my first and only love...now that you know some of my past we will travel back to two weeks ago... me and allison are great our relationship is flawless work is going great for both of us and we have been dating for about 6 months anyway aaron convinces me to go to slc with him to party so we go and i told allison that we were just going to go see old friends and i wasnt going to do drugs or drink just hangout... the first night i hook up with an old friend and buy 30 blue transformer ecstasy pills and cheat on my girlfriend(only kissing another girl but still)we all stayed at aarons weekend apartment and rolled for a week straight every night i cheated on her (still only kissing but cheating none the less)i wrecked my land rover into Ceces car, destroyed aarons apartment, spent way too much money, lost my job, insulted my mom for raising me wrong. the girl i cheated with is now getting divorced... i just really screwed myself that weekend... i didnt tell allison i had cheated and i felt terrible about it, i love her and i messed it all up... this past weeked i went back to the city anxious to take more drugs and just try to forget about the cheating. so i get there score some more ecstasy and invite all my old friends over to aarons flat... everyone comes (including alexa the girl i cheated with) we hook up again and i feel terrible for her i just feel like a complete piece of s.hit for cheating and ruining my life and the worst part is allison has no idea i lost my job or spent most of my savings on drugs in one week. i have created a web of lies around the situation so she dosent find out i really want to tell her but i will have to tell the complete truth if i expose even a small piece. and i dont think she will trust me again....
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